I know y’all got your hearts in the right places,
but dawgs, you know making something illegal
ain’t gonna do shiiit.
Dictators are like the hydra, dawgs!
Even if we nab one of those motha truckers,
15’ll come up in his place!
Dawgs, we gotta get creative if we wanna save the world.
Creative like Facebook. Twitter. Google.
These players made this shiiit cause they wanted paper, dawgs!
The Arab Spring revolutions was just an unintended side effect
of the motha truckin’ profit motive!
A beautiful side effect, but unintended, fool!
Just like those nerd-ass players gettin’ laid was a side effect
like they never thought possible before they made
all that sweet hooch.
I got a plan that’s easier and prolly gonna be more effective than y’all’s:
1) End foreign subsidies, fool!
We make dictators illegal,
but that ain’t gonna stop dictators from showin’ up
and takin’ the place of the ones we nab.
BUT if we stop their flow of paper,
then they ain’t got shiiit, dawg!
But right now we pay those dicktators to be dicks, fool!
2) Free my people, bitch!
Why the F*CK can’t I go to Cuba?
I ain’t no motha truckin’ cubano, dawg,
but I wants me some cubano, dawg!
Know what I mean, fool?
When my nigga Matt Perry opened up Japan in the 1850’s,
y’all, I’m tellin you there was a sexplosion of trade, dawgs!
AND their GDP exploded!!!
We fought in nasty ass Vietnam,
and now we trade with them!!!
Look dawgs, I know you educated ass wipes
like to write everything down on paper,
so lemme spell it out for you…
Loosen up, my niggas!
Drop the rules and empower my people to enjoy our lives!
We in America, baby!
Just cause we gotta big dick don’t mean we can’t be gentle.
Do my “two-step” plan and we’ll all finish.
Aight dawgs. Peace.
Now listen to my DAWG, dawgs!
Opening up the trade with Japan essentially pushed the Japanese
to modernize and industrialize.
They saw the superiority of the American technology
and were convinced they had to change
or they would cease to exist.
The Japanese were not subsidized with modern equipment;
it was sold to people and groups in Japan who were eager to buy it.
Ending subsidies and opening trade boosts our economy
and weakens any potential despotic government that may be installed.